invisible illusion

I feel so dull. Everything here is a move, much like a game. Emotions are impulses and actions are moves. I feel like I am not present most of the time. I'm sitting and everything around me is a blur, Im watching it speed by. So meaningless, what is talked about and deemed important. There has to be something more, or is this really all there is?  Everything around me feels painful and upsetting. Its not real, alas not for me. The more and more I see, The more blind to the world I want to be. Perhaps we all see this, but just being here is easy. Its easy to agree then it is to admit we don't know. To search for a answer, To create a path.